CANADA’S ATTEMPT AT A DO NOT CALL LIST SEEMS TO HAVE FAILED MISERABLY

Wikipedia defines Telemarketing as ‘a method of direct marketing in which a salesperson solicits to prospective customers to buy products or services, either over the phone or through a subsequent face to face or Web conferencing appointment scheduled during the call. Telemarketing can also include recorded sales pitches programmed to be played over the phone via automatic dialling.’

Most people I know define telemarketing and thus telemarketers as ‘those annoying *&$@!* that call me during meal times or every other time when I’m busy.'’

I’m sure we’ve all experienced such a phone call and can relate to the annoyance expressed by most upon the receipt of such a call when you’d really rather hear from someone else.

What is Canada Doing About This?

After a number of years of discussion and planning and I’m sure just as many years of receiving the complaints of the masses, the Canadian Federal Government passed a law allowing for the creation of a National Do Not Call List (DNCL) which was then implemented and enforced by the Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission (CRTC). This is an independent agency responsible for regulating Canada's broadcasting and telecommunications systems. Bell Canada was then contracted by the CRTC to act as the National DNCL Operator. This is also enforced by the CRTC.

A website was set up in August of 2008 by the CRTC to promote the DNCL, letting Canadian consumers know that as of September 30, 2008 they could sign up online to reduce the number of telemarketing calls they receive and maintain their personal privacy. (This can be found here: http://www.crtc.gc.ca/eng/DNCL/brochure_consumer.htm )

Another website was set up again by the CRTC once the expected date was passed, to give more information to the general public as well as provide an area where they could register their phone numbers. Most Canadian consumers were encouraged to register their residential, wireless, fax or VoIP telephone numbers and millions did. (This website can be found here: https://www.lnnte-dncl.gc.ca/index-eng )

Big Mistake?

The reasoning behind the creation of the do-not-call list was supposed to be to prevent telemarketers from contacting people who do not want to be annoyed with unwelcome sales pitches. For telemarketing companies to find out who they’re not permitted to call, the CRTC sells the list online for a fee. However, anyone willing to pay the fee can download this list. Complete with all the thousands and thousands of good working numbers which companies would otherwise have had to pay another fee for to verify. Of course there are penalties for misuse of this list and not abiding by the rules set forth. These run as high as $15,000 for companies and $1,500 for individuals. Nevertheless some fraudsters reside overseas plus there are also those in Canada running shady fly-by-night businesses, they too have access to this supposed do-not-call-list. And these people aren’t so easy to find.

Was this a mistake on the part of the CRTC, or just an oversight? That’s the debate in the news right now. There are millions of Canadians who trusted this website to relieve them of the aggravation of telemarketing calls, who registered their phone numbers, including their cell phone numbers who are now receiving calls they never received to begin with.

The Consumers’ Association of Canada (CAC) (an independent, not-for-profit, volunteer-based, charitable organization whose mandate is to inform and educate consumers on marketplace issues, to advocate for consumers with government and industry, and work with government and industry to solve marketplace problems) has been quoted as saying it has been inundated with complaints from people who have been called by scam artists after placing their telephone numbers on the registry.

So what does the CRTC plan to do about this?

From what I’ve been able to discover, they are looking into it. That’s all we get. Glenn Thibeault, NDP critic for consumer protection, wrote to the federal privacy commissioner Jennifer Stoddart on January 16 urging her to investigate. A spokesperson for the commissioner said Friday, January 23 that she was aware of the problem before being contacted by Thibeault. Apparently they are in contact with the CRTC and trying to gather relevant information to see how to proceed.

Until then Canadians will just have to deal with the many calls from telemarketers. Or they can ask to be put on the telemarketer’s own internal do not call list. Every Canadian telemarketer is required to maintain such a list and respect our wishes not to be called. Whether they adhere to this list or not is another story altogether. I guess it remains to be seen what will happen.

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On the Lighter Side - For Some Kicks

50 FUN THINGS TO DO TO TELEMARKETERS

1. Talk really fast.
2. Turn on the TV. Change the channel to one that only gets static. Turn the volume up really loud. Say that you can't hear them over the static.
3. Make up your own language. Speak it.
4. Hang up.
5. Make up a one word language. Speak it.
6. Say, "This phone line is for emergency use only. Do you have an emergency?"
7. If they say "Yes" to number 6 say, "Please state the nature of the emergency." Then insist that their emergency isn't an emergency. Hang up.
8. If they say "No" to number 6 say, "I'm sorry but this line is for emergencies only." Hang up.
9. Pretend you just took hostages, and make demands.
10. Pretend that you are a hostage negotiator, and try to get the telemarketer to release the hostages.
11. Order a large pepperoni pizza, some garlic bread, and a meatball sub.
12. Pretend that your phone line is an automatic phone sex line.
13. Dial the phone and say, "Hey! I lent you 50 bucks. You better pay up or else I'm gonna come over there and hurt you! "
14. Repeatedly dial the phone. Mutter that it isn't ringing.
15. Claim to be the mafia.
16. Say, "Moe's tavern Moe speaking."
17. Say something that Moe would say to Bart after Bart makes a prank call.
18. Ask him/her if he/she would like a magazine or newspaper subscription.
19. Ask the telemarketer to find your friend Mike last name Rotch. Claim you will only buy a subscription from them.
20. Say, "Oh no! It's the Feds! They're on to us!"
21. Claim to be the FBI. Say, "This is the Federal Bureau of Investigation. How may I help you?"
22. Dial *69. Wait about a minute and say, "Damn unreliable *69."
23. Speak a foreign language.
24. If you do # 23 and the telemarketer gets a person who speaks the language you used, speak another language, use a made up language, or say that you were speaking English the whole time.
25. Pretend that the telemarketer is your husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend. Talk sexually, making references to what you are going to do to him/her later tonight. When you "realize" that you are not speaking to your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend yell, "Pervert!" Slam the phone down to hang up.
26. Say, "Help! I'm being robbed! He's got a gun!"
27. Communicate only through Morse code.
28. Talk to the telemarketer. During the conversation dial the phone, and ask for Bill. Do this repeatedly.
29. Try to sell the telemarketer something.
30. Act drunk.
31. Turn on your shower. Say that you are on a portable phone and are really late for an important meeting. Scream as though you were electrocuted.
32. Ask him/her if he/she can smell bacon. Insist that there is a strong scent of bacon over the phone.
33. Ask if he/she has been to Australia. Regardless of his/her answer ask if you can buy a boomerang and didgeridoo.
34. If he/she says "No" to #33 insist that he/she buy yours.
35. If he/she says "Yes" to #33 ask if he/she will take a strange currency.
36. Pretend to be an escaped mental patient. Mutter things like, "They'll never catch me again," "No! Not the jacket! No, no, no!" After saying one of these mutter incoherently.
37. Make him/her dance for a sale. Claim that you won't buy because you couldn't see him/her dance.
38. Make him/her sing to get a sale.
39. If a male sings for #38, claim that he sounds like Brittany Spears.
40. If a female sings for #38, claim that she sounds like Barry White.
41. Pretend to be really interested. Then say, "No."
42. Engage him/her in an "intellectual" conversation on an extremely boring subject.
43. Say nothing until he/she hangs up.
44. Say, "I told you. I don't know where your dog is!" Then hang up.
45. Keep crackers near the phone. When a telemarketer calls eat the crackers. Chew loudly, make slurping noises, and talk with your mouth full. If you want pretend that you are choking.
46. After he/she hangs up, use *69 or Caller ID to get the phone number. Call the telemarketer.
47. Ask the telemarketer for his/her home phone number. Claim that you need some time to think, and that you'll get back to them.
48. If he/she is selling a newspaper or magazine, go on and on about how great another newspaper/magazine is.
49. Pretend you are a telemarketer from a rival company. Get him/her to buy your product.
50. Say, "Yes" immediately to whatever they are selling and hang up immediately afterwards.

(Courtesy of the website: http://www.lifeisajoke.com/miscellaneous40_html.htm)